It was a REAL heartache when Dayle left...after all we were just freshly married!
Because we have not even been married a month yet, him leaving stung worse this time...yet as of this point I am getting better with each day. I'll never be 100% but I'm definitely better than I was on Monday and Tuesday. I had no appetite and didn't even have the motivation to shower. I was a complete and utter basketcase.
Anyway, he hasn't even been gone a week yet and this spouse visa ball is starting to roll. I've printed out all the relationship evidence and have my introduction letter typed out. I won't go into the nitty gritty details because, not surprisingly, it's a lot of paperwork. And a lot of legal and official government junk. With this in mind, though, I'm feeling like a true adult. Part of me is proud of this, and part of me feels old...
But the reason I wanted to make this journal was not just to update on my progress, but also mention something with regards to the relationship evidence. See, Dayle and I started out as besties here on DeviantART, we started talking in 2010 and became close friends throughout 2011 and 2012, and in 2012 we coupled. Well, Dayle and I don't have note logs in 2010...so that required me to go the last page of comments in my profile. Going through those end pages, I found a lot of anti-Sonaze comments and thought..."This seriously used to upset me so much?" and which lead me to think..."Man, what an absolute brat I was back then!" Which then lead me to the idea of posting this journal.
I just want to apologize to everyone that were friends with me back in 2010. I am sorry you had to deal with the immature, intolerant, brat that I was. And I'm not afraid to admit it, because I know it. I was a fanbrat
, an immature and intolerant fanbrat. Back then, I would make frequent butthurt journals bashing any Sonaze-opposing couple and their fans. I even oftentimes made hate art. While going through the 2010 comment section on my profile, I found a few people whose feelings were hurt by this art. And to those people, I strongly apologize sincerely.
And it's not even just anti-couple journals either. I would frequently make a butthurt journal (oftentimes threatening to leave), let many people comment on it like some kind of stupid self-proclaimed pity party; then, pretty much right afterwards, I would make a journal "feeling better" and declaring "I'll never leave DeviantART". THIS CYCLE CONTINUED FOR QUITE AWHILE, DESPITE ME SAYING I WILL NEVER LEAVE DEVIANTART EACH TIME, I EVENTUALLY END UP MAKING A BUTTHURT JOURNAL THREATENING TO LEAVE AGAIN!!
For this, guys, I am truly and deeply sorry. I just...I can't even...I want to severely punch some sense into my 14-year-old self. Seriously
Can you guys forgive me? I know I was only 13-14 years old at that time, but I do not think that is a reasonable excuse. So again, I apologize to everyone who were friends with me back then. So glad I've changed...
But to end on a less bitter note, this visa ball is coming way. And despite finding my past stupid comments when trying to get logs of our relationship, I am pretty confident and excited about all this. A little stressed, of course, but..."the future is ours to decide," and "nothing is going to stop me!"
I would swim the Atlantic to the UK if it was a visa requirement!!!